This one is way fun. I saw it on a friend's blog and I learned a lot about her. Please fill out one for yourself on your blogs!!
I think: About things all the time. They don't even have to be important things. My mind is always going ninety miles an hour. The sad part is that usually it never about anything important or what I should be thinking about. I think about my life, husband, family, friends, world, the choices we've made..... But then I think about what we are having for dinner, what there is in the fridge, in the cupboards,...... I think my mind might explode one day!!
I know: that Heavenly Father knows all of my thoughts and is probably thinking-Mickaela, you silly, silly girl. Haven't we been through this SO MANY times?? RELAX and enjoy life. I know who I am and I know He LOVES me more than I could mortally understand. I know that He has a specific plan just for me and our little family and I know that whatever happens, He's aware of me.
I want: SO many things! I feel selfish saying what I want because I AM the youngest and people think that I get whatever I want but I really don't. I want to be a wonderful person inside and out, I want to be an amazing wife and mother, I want to have a SUPER close relationship with my husband - closer than anyone, I want to make a difference, I want to be an example for good, I want to learn to sew, cook, keep the house clean for more than an hour, I want to keep the closeness that I have with my sisters.... the list could go on forever.
I have: A wonderful life!!! I have a husband who loves me and would do anything for me, a whole family who raised me with lots of love, I have a roof over my head, food in my cupboards, clothes on my back, a job, money in the bank, DEBT, I have an excitement for life and the crazy things that go on in it, I have Desire, and a Testimony.
I wish: There were more hours in a day so that I could do all of the things that I want to do! I wish I would have started school when I was 18 instead of 20. I wish I would have listened to my heart when it told me This is a very bad IDEA!! I wish I was wonder woman and could do everything at once.
I hate: When people are fake, snide, rude, unjust, belittleing, cheap, selfish. I hate when I feel Satan's presence and know that he is fighting to chase the Spirit away just as hard as I am praying for it to stay with me. I hate feeling like I'm anything less than great or that I CAN"T.
I miss: My family sometimes when I'm alone thinking about all of the fun we had when we were kids. I miss getting into trouble and trading corners when mom and dad weren't looking, playing school with Katie and Trina, fighting with Katie and Trina, telling Katie "you're not my mom!" I miss mom's chocolate chip cookie bars and how we had to eat them while they were hot or they would be too hard, getting up to get a drink, and ending up getting a drink for the entire family, getting lost in the wilderness on a "short cut"
I fear: Losing my family.
I smell: Nothing unless I'm really close to it, or I'm pregnant.
I crave: Mom's Sausage and Rice Casserole, Pork Chops n Rice, Sweedish Meatballs, Sweet n Sour Meatballs, homemade huckleberry ice cream...... Anything cooked over the fire.
I search: For my phone, my keys, my pen, my other shoe, my purse........ pretty much everything because I forget where I put everything....... until Bleu finds it, then I remember putting it there. and then he laughs at me.
I wonder: What Heavenly Father has in store for me. I have lots of clues and ideas, but I still wonder.
I regret: Mickey. And a few others that I let lead me on and make me feel like the least important human on earth.
I love: My Family, the sunshine, FOOD, playing, progressing, laughing till it hurts, hearing babies giggle, watching the first attempts, cheering on people I love, comforting those I love.
I care: too much sometimes. I care about what people think when I shouldn't. I care deeply for people around me, and my family.
I always: try not to give up. Sometimes all I want to do is just give up. And I ALWAYS try not to. I have to keep going and keep pushing no matter how hard it is.
I am not: a conformist. I don't do what everyone else does just because everyone else is doing it. If I want to do something, I'll do it. I have developed into a pretty uniquely stubborn individual and if I feel like doing something, I'm going to do it. I don't do it just to be different from everyone for spite, but I do the things I do for my reasons - not just to be different -
I believe: in God, Jesus Christ, The Spirit, Bleu and Me. I believe that God has a plan for me, for us. I believe that Christ hung on the cross and bled for me. I believe that the Spirit is with me when I invite him in. I believe Bleu when he tells me how wonderful I am and how much he loves me. I believe that God is watching and that our son/daughter is cheering us on to the finish line.
I dance: with Bleu. and that's almost the only time I feel comfortable dancing. I don't dance alone very often, but when I do, it's only for select people cause it's just down right strange.
I sing: constantly. I am always singing either out loud or in my head. I love it. It's one thing that I absolutely love to do.
I don't always: have a deep desire to clean. Sometimes I just feel like leaving the dishes, leaving the laundry, not showering, and just staying in bed and cuddling with my husband. I guess it's okay because he hasn't complained yet.
I write: what I am thinking in the moment that I write. I write whatever is bothering me, what is perplexing me, what is making me happy, sad, mad. I write stories, I write what happens between me and other people. I write lists constantly. To do lists, Grocery lists, I write lyrics to songs I already know.
I lose: faith in myself. I loose sight of all of the good things about me and get caught up in the things that aren't perfect. I lose my keys, my phone, my purse, and pretty much whatever I need at the moment.
I win: Zilch when I play against Bleu. Haha.
I never: want to grow up completely. I never want to grow old in my heart, I never want to stop acting like a newlywed, I never want to stop loving, I never want to give up on anything or anyone.
I listen: to the Spirit and try to know what I should do. I listen to Bleu and know that he is listening to the Spirit, too.
I can usually be found: wherever Bleu is. We spend more time together than I have ever spent with anyone EVER and I can't get enough of him. It amazes me how we've known eachother for two years, been married for seven months, spend as much time as possible together and I would still rather be with him than anybody else in the world. I love him so much.
I am scared: of heights, because I hate the feeling of falling, and I'm scared of mirrors in the dark. It's just about the creepiest thing I can think of.
I need: positive reinforcement. Negetivity sticks like honey and I need to be positive, and someone to be positive with me even when I'm covered in honey. Sometimes it's really hard for me to be positive especially when it comes to myself. I beat myself up about everything and Satan takes every opportunity he can get to make me feel like I'm not great. It's easy to see the good in others-it's better to show it to them.
I am happy about: where my life is going, who I have to share my life with, the choices I have made, the people I have around me, the love that I share.
Julia 19 Months Old
2 days ago