Tough Girl Loves Daddy

Ella loves, Loves, LOVES her Daddy. She is excited to see him every day. One thing she likes to do when he comes home from work/training is to walk down to the mailbox with Dad. She gets excited just to see the key to the mailbox. :)

She's quite a tough little girl. She loves to get down on the floor with the dogs while they wrestle and has a blast getting thrown around by them. Jade is her personal couch-she's always lounging, cuddling, nuzzling etc. into her. As expected, she also loves to wrestle with her Daddy, and will run full speed into him, giggle and scream while he tickles her.

I can hardly keep this little cutie inside all day. As soon as a door opens to let the dogs out or greet a visitor, she's on the move trying to get into that sunshine. She loves being outside walking around and visiting all of her friends in the neighborhood. Friday afternoon is always exciting for her...it's garbage day. We get lots of big garbage and recycling trucks coming through the neighborhood and she can just sit on the sidewalk and watch them all day long.

Well there's just a little update on our baby girl for right now. As for the other one, she is doing great, moving and kicking almost constantly, (until Bleu tries to feel my tummy go "bump"). I am in the third trimester and the excitement and reality is really setting in that we will have TWO very shortly. I guess she's getting excited, too. It seems like each time I am high in activity I start having contractions, so I'm upping the water intake and trying to take it easy so she can cook a while longer. So no more woofle ball or basketball for me. ;) Lavender oil helps those muscles calm down, too so we are keeping everything under control... NO WORRIES! :) Just filling y'all in.

Ella loves to play peek-a-boo and has been pretty inventive with her different ways of doing it. This is the blanket version, but she also uses her shirt, and she's been peeking around corners like mom and dad do sometimes.



We had Sara and Gavin for Easter dinner. Sara brought some colored eggs and Ella thought they were pretty interesting.

Once she started eating the shell we decided to get rid of it. It was pretty slippery and slipped out of her hands right onto the plate of Deviled Eggs. :) LOL After a good laugh she sat in her high chair and dissected it for a while. Good Easter fun for the little one. :)

Well the news is pretty much out. Ella's going to be a big sister this Fall. The funny thing about it is that we got quite a big surprise at the doctor's office ( On April 1st.) I went in thinking I was 10 weeks along. The week before I kept looking in the mirror thinking "why am I showing already?? I guess the third time around doesn't take long to stretch back out."
I was doing the little hold the belly in while I was in public and everything. :)

So we are in the doctor's office telling her I think I'm 10 weeks and Bleu thought about 12. So Doc says " well, let's take a look". The first thing I see on the ultrasound screen is an ARM. with FINGERS. and then she goes to the side and I see a PROFILE.

WHAAAATTT??

Doc says "I think you're further than you thought" Ya. apparently. So she did a few measurements that all indicated a gestational age of more like 18 1/2 weeks. OH MY. I made it almost half way through my pregnancy without even realizing it. LOL! That's the way to do it!

I have been trying to post for a long time, and actually started a few times but never finished. Well, as most of you know Bleu came home at the end of September. We were all really excited for the day to come and super happy to be together as a family. Ella was comfortable with Bleu as soon as he held her, just like I thought she would be. She LOVES her daddy just like she did when he was home in May.














So here's a funny story about Bleu coming home: I had cut all of my hair off and colored it about a week or two before he came home, but he hadn't seen it. Ella had also grown at least double since he'd last seen her. So when the plane landed, Bleu said that everyone was looking out the windows and pointing out their families and getting excited. Bleu told them "I don't even know what my family looks like!" So he gets off of the plane and starts looking around. He looked a little bit like he wasn't even sure if we were there at all. I finally caught his eye; he smiled and we met in the middle of the crowd where he said "Hey, cutie." :) I handed Ella to him and he couldn't believe how much she had grown. The two of them have been like two peas in a pod. Ella loves to swing and get tossed by Bleu. And of course, every morning that it's possible, they have their morning cuddle time.
At the end of October we went on our first big trip to California to see Bleu's family for a week. Ella went on her first plane ride. I was a little nervous, not knowing how she would handle being on a lap for such a long time, but she loved it.

She squealed, and touched everything in her reach, looked out the window, smiled and giggled at the lady sitting next to us, fell asleep about ten minutes before landing, but didn't wake up when we touched down. On the trip back she slept most of the way. It was a relief that she was so easy going for the trip.



We were able to go and see Bleu's Great Grandma Bea, Ella's Great Great Grandma! She turned 103 in May and she's still going! She really enjoyed having Ella visit and wanted to hold her the whole time.. EXCEPT when Ella pinched her. She said "OUCH! She pinched me--Help!" After she was kissed better, she wanted to hold Ella again. We had a good laugh about it. We were able to get a pretty good 5 generation picture with everyone looking at the camera, although it was a little tricky getting both Ella and Grandma Bea looking at the camera at the same time. :)

Well now we are back home and Bleu is starting to get serious about getting back to work. He is doing AFTP's at the airport and had a few interviews this morning. So hopefully we will be hearing some good news soon. That's all for now! Love you all and I'll try and update a little bit more often.

Ella May!

Well I FINALLY sat down to update. It's been so long, I think I forgot we even had a blog. Well, Bleu was able to be home in time for the birth of our baby girl. Let me tell you, he was an amazing help. I'm so so so glad he was there. I also had my friend, JoAnn come to be my Douala. Between the two of them constantly rubbing my back and coaching me through, we did a completely natural delivery in under five hours. HOLY COW!


Bleu and I went to my 40 week midwife appointment together the day before my due date. I was really tired of being pregnant. Anyway, that night we were laying on the couch watching a movie when I heard a felt a great big *POP* from my tummy. Bleu even heard it, too! My water broke at 9 pm. We talked to the midwife and she said to relax in the tub until the contractions are 5-6 minutes apart. So I got into the tub and started timing them. They were 2-3 minutes apart, but I wanted to stay home a while longer. After an hour, Bleu noticed that it was time to go to the hospital. So we packed up and checked in before 11 pm. I was on a monitor for about 20 minutes, and then back into the tub to take the pressure off. JoAnn showed up around midnight and she and Bleu were my coaches and cheering section. Seriously don't know what I would have done without them. The contractions progressed and I was doing great, and then they just kept going longer and faster. The midwife said that I needed to get out of the tub and into bed. As soon as I was there, it was time to push. Again, Bleu and JoAnn were amazing coaches. We pushed for about half an hour and Ella May was born at 1:46 am on May 19. Her due date.
6 lbs and 13 oz. and 20 inches long.


It was wonderful having Bleu home for so long! I had quite a few complications and set backs in my recovery, so we were able to get a 10 day extension on his leave. He is such a good Daddy and just adores his sweet little girl.
It was much harder on both of us having him leave this time. He misses his girls lots. We still talk on Skype every night, but sometimes don't get to talk very long when Ella needs my attention. She has a fussy time that's almost like clockwork. I'm fine with that, but it just usually lands right when Bleu gets home from work. So I don't get to talk to him very long and he doesn't get to see Ella.

Mom was able to come down and stay for a few weeks to help with Ella. That was another life saver. I was still in quite a lot of pain when Bleu left and it was hard to get up and down, but Mom was able to be here the day he left.
Ella sure loved having Grandma come to visit. The day after Mom left was a little rough on both of us, and Mom said that it was because she missed her Grandma. Haha. I know I sure did.

Here are some things that I've learned about Ella:

• She is very beautiful and smart.
• She doesn't like being on her tummy unless Grandpa Dixon is underneath her.
• She has a temper and shouts in short little bursts when she wants attention.
• She likes to wait until she's naked on the changing table to pee.....and sometimes poop.
• She likes to poop in freshly changed diapers.
• She likes to cuddle, but loves to see what's going on.
• She hogs the bed just like her mommy.

So it's been nearly forever since I updated this blog. But I had been without a camera for a while until my wonderful husband bought one for me a few weeks ago. I've had a few opportunities to play with it and get used to it.

Obviously, Kami is the only subject available to me. Haha. But I've realized that she actually likes having her picture taken. When I turn the camera on, it makes noise, and she turns to look at it, and stares at the lens, sits, lays down, looks at me, changes positions and looks at the camera. What a silly girl. So she's a little cheese ball poser and gave me some cute shots I think.


This is probably what the baby will be looking at here in a few weeks. A big towering monster! I think Kami might have an inkling as to what's going on. Of course not precisely, but I can tell she knows some things are changing and there are more changes coming. I've been stepping up with the training, giving her more boundaries, and setting higher expectations of her behavior. She's learning fast.

She was really excited when the spare bedroom got cleaned out and the crib and changing table got set up (THANK YOU Gavin and Sara). And was even more excited when I unpacked the clothes, blankets, and all of the baby stuff. The baby has kicked her in the chin a few times while she had her head on my tummy and she's also seen it moving around, so I think she might know that there is definitely something in there. :) She also bumps her nose against my tummy and licks it.

So I bought a baby doll and dressed it in some of the baby's clothes. She LOVES it, and wants to play with it, I think because it's fabric and plastic. But she knows what I'm talking about when I ask her if she wants to see the baby. She is learning that it's not okay to jump up to see it--she has to sit and be good. I put the doll in the crib and she is still jumping up to look at it in there, but it's all a process. She's getting better at laying next to the swing instead of sticking her face right in there and licking the poor thing. But she doesn't mind just watching me rock with the doll--I'm guessing because we are at her eye level and she can see everything. She really just likes to watch. It will probably all be different when it's a real baby, but I think she's getting used to the idea that something else will be occupying my time. She does great with Mikaela when she visits, but she's never been around a newborn. We'll just have to wait and see.

Here's a video of Kami playing. If there is a noise out of her reach, she MUST get it! Silly girl.



So as for the pregnancy, everything is going great! I'm sooooo tired of being pregnant. I want this baby to pop out a week ago, but the longer I go, the better for the baby. Plus I would LOVE for Bleu to be home for the birth and I know he would, too.

So just for the ones who haven't been updated, I am going to be delivering in the hospital with a Midwife and a Douala. I'm really excited. I'm still high risk (of course) because it's a VBAC, but everything appears to be going really well. I feel really good, too.

I'm done working, so I have lots of little projects to keep me busy around the house. I'm trying to get back into the sewing thing and have a few things that I want to make. I take Kami to the park at least three times a week and while she runs around, I walk around the park. I also go to the pool every once in a while for a swim and to put my back against the jets. I want to stay active so that the exercise will be beneficial for the labor. I don't want to be too tired to get through it. I'm determined to have a completely natural birth. I'm studying up on labor and the science of it all, gathering a bunch of relaxing techniques and so forth.

I've been having Braxton Hicks pretty much every day, but nothing too painful. Just enough for me to notice them and not often enough to make any phone calls. I practice breathing and relaxing through them. I've had a few while Bleu and I are on Skype and he asks if I'm okay or if they hurt. He takes such good care of me.

Well, we only have two and a half weeks till the due date! Bleu and I are hoping to be together for the birth and as always, we feel and appreciate all of your prayers on our behalf. Love you!

Butterfly Express!

Let's start at the very beginning, it's a very good place to start. :) So during class a while ago our instructor handed out a flyer for an Essential Oils company called Butterfly Express. I have never thought of essential oils before and didn't know much about them. Well after looking over the flyer I thought "well, gee! I could use all of these oils!" So I sent a few of my favorites to mom for my Christmas List and she got me six oils and I LOVED THEM! I teasingly told Bleu that basically everything on the flyer was my list for Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, etc. :o). So about a month ago he started telling me that I should go through the list and tell him which ones I wanted right now and we could get started. SO I went through with him one night and gave him a list that he could choose from. He wanted to surprise me, so I just told him all of the ones that would be great to have and let him at it. Well, after he placed the order he told me that not only did he get EVERYTHING on my list, he got a few more that he thought would be good. WHAT a stinker. Love him.

The plot thickens-- the next morning I got a call from Butterfly Express and they said "because your order was so big,..." again.... Love him. "...we were wondering if you would be interested in becoming a wholesale rep." They explained some more and after talking with Bleu, I was changing my order to one of EVERY oil blend they have and a few extras. SWEET!

Yay! I am now a Butterfly Express Wholesale Rep. Woohoo! Take a look at all the goods! I was waiting for my package to come and when it did I was THRILLED and started opening them up and using them right away. SO why this is such good news to all of you??

I will pass on the savings! I can give you 20% off of your order. If you just let me know what you want, I will put in an order and tell you how much you owe, I can even have them ship it to you! Neat, huh? I've already ordered some for Katie and my boss, and mom and I are working on an order right now. It's so much fun! There is an oil for just about everything from Arthritis to anxiety to warts and Digestion. If you want to browse, go to butterflyexpress.net and take a look. But you can't get the 20% through the website, just through a wholesale rep--like me! :)

Also, Butterfly Express has monthly specials and discounts so I will be posting them here, too.

So let's get started!!

FEBRUARY SPECIALS!

• 10% off the Chakra Kit

• 15% off the following oils:

Beloved
Exhilaration
Moonlight
Clary Sage
Rosewood
Tangerine

• Buy all 6 of them for 20% off.

• There is a new blend this month called Manuka

And as always, I need to practice my zoning, so give me a call and I will use my oils on your tootsies!!

Pictures and Videos!

Kami got spayed last Friday and played the sick card all day Saturday. I let her because she was barfing Friday night. Haha. She Loves to cuddle on the floor and this is the best picture that we could get. Look How big she is! I'm just going to put a bunch of pictures of the past week or so. Enjoy!

I had my friend Kamie (Kami's namesake haha) help me out by watching Kami for a few hours while I was in class. Her daughter Mikaela (I know.. SO confusing, right?) just loves Kami and visa versa. Kamie caught this on camera and it's just too cute not to share!

Okay I know this is old, but I couldn't resist. Back in the day when she was allowed on the furniture, she fell asleep and was dreaming, twitching, growling, the works. Then when things settled down, she relaxed and this is what happened. Too funny. I still get a kick out of her face when she wakes up.

Kami Kraziness

I've been promising more pictures and videos of Kami.
Well, here they are. She is just the funniest thing. She has had me laughing all day.

I have discovered a few things that are interesting about her this week. She attacks the broom when I sweep, and attacks the Swiffer when I mop. She hates the noise the Swiffer makes when I push the button to spray the solution. She wants to cuddle when she's tired and thinks that I should get off the phone and pay attention to her! She hates the sound of "hold" music on the phone, but loves to hear Bleu on the phone. She likes people more than dogs, and loves loves loves kids. She's usually perfectly content sitting in my lap licking my hand when I want her to be still. She hates the camera, and wants to bite the dog that's on the screen. Haha. Oh, and she thinks that when I have my hair in a bun that it is her responsibility to chew it up and pull it out.
So here's the story about the box. Bleu's cousins got a Build A Bear for Tristan and I took it out of the box and set the box down. Kami was really intrigued by it, so I pushed it over to her and scratched on it to see if she would play with it, but she didn't seem to interested. So I just left her and went back to what I was doing. After inspecting the box, she sniffed, cocked her head and barked at it a while. Then she bit into it, then she just took off and came back and picked it up and just started running all over the house with it. And..... well.... yeah. The movie explains it.
So then I was trying to get a picture of her next to me to show how big she is. And it was almost working. She would look at the camera just until the light would go off. So they are all fuzzy, and then when I was taking pictures of just her, she didn't like the camera facing her. It's pretty funny.




Oh, Yeah. She likes to lick. Love her, hate that about her. :)

Tristan would be six months old today! I decided that instead of being sad and saying that I've been without him for six months, I'm going to be happy and say...

Yay! I'm six months closer to being with my baby boy! I love you Tristan! I miss you so much and I can't wait to see you again!

Finally

Well Bleu and I have gone to visit Tristan a number of times and every time we go we forget stuff to clean his stone, and the camera. Well, we FINALLY remembered both when we took mom and dad out to see it. Funny thing is, Mom forgot HER camera. Haha. So mom, I'll send you a copy.

So here it is. I don't know when I'll be able to visit him without bawling, but I think I have a good excuse. This week has been pretty rough on me. Bleu left for his deployment on Tuesday, which I'll tell more later, our first baby would have been a year old this week, and Tristan would be six months old tomorrow. So hard times all around, but we are doing what we can.

Okay. Bleu left for his deployment Tuesday morning: we had to be at the airport at 6am. I'm really glad I brought my purse because they let me go to the gate with a pass and ID. We waited for a while and everyone was fine, talking, laughing, joking, we had some breakfast and were just enjoying ourselves. When the PA announced that they would be boarding their flight soon, I could just feel the mood change from pleasant to dread. Waited a little longer and when they started calling the zones to board, all of the family members started clinging to their soldiers, and all of the wives started crying. There's no way to prepare yourself for something like that. I stood at the window with the other family members and we waited and watched the plane leave the terminal. One of the wives standing next to me was holding a four month old baby with tears streaming down her face. She and I turned to each other and she reached up and hugged me. I had never met her before, but we introduced ourselves and walked to the door together. She isn't sure if her husband will be coming home for Thanksgiving so she will probably not see her husband till October of next year. I told her about how Bleu and I both have webcams so we can see each other and she said that was one of her ideas, but they just couldn't afford it. I felt awful for her. I talked to Bleu and he said that maybe we could get him a ticket to come home. If we have the money, I really want to send him home to see his family. I can't imagine what she's going through. My Bishop from our Single's Ward asked if there was anything he could do for me and I told him that we appreciated all of the prayers. And it's so true. So if you ever have a spare moment, send a prayer on behalf of the soldiers and their families. Even thought we don't hear them, we sure can feel them.

Meanwhile, Kami is a puppy through and through. She's growing so big and she's in her toddler stage of running, chewing, jumping, etc. She will definitely keep me busy for the time being. She really smart and just wants to make us happy. It truthfully only takes her a few days to train her to do something. She's great at potty training when we remind her ever few hours, but when we say "go potty" she knows what that means and happily wags her tail and goes to the back door. She sits and stays, she knows that she needs to sit to get her toys, she will drop her toys as long as they don't get stuck in her teeth, she is getting better at fetch, she comes when I call her, we are working on laying on her bed on command, she stays quiet all night and waits to be let out of her crate, she sits and waits for her food instead of barrelling over me, and we started socializing her with other dogs at a dog park. This is the really funny part. She loves the dog park because there are people and kids there. She could care less about the dogs, and will bite them when they stick their noses in her face. So slowly I think she's getting used to it. She actually played with a Springer Spaniel a few days ago. It was big progress. She is starting to show her personality and she's still the cutest thing ever. She doesn't cause too much trouble. We have cords all over the living room and she doesn't chew on them. She knows not to. She doesn't chew on shoes. (One swift swat to the face was enough for her to learn.) So I don't regret the day Bleu brought her home at all. I will be putting up a few pictures and videos soon. She's already outgrown the ones I took a few weeks ago! :) Till next time. Love Ya!

Okay--

Wow. SO much has happened that I don't even know where to start!

Okay well I guess I will start with my health. I haven't been to a Doctor since my last post simply because there hasn't been a need to be! Yay! I have been having my feet zoned and have been feeling much better. I have been having some pain in my kidney, but we are thinking that it's getting back into the swing of things and needs some time to work better. I've been working on the emotional and spiritual side of my life and it feels great. It's a lot of work coming from the depths out into the light. It was a huge climb in a short amount of time, but we are almost there.

Well some of you have heard that we moved! It's true! And it was quick. Bleu knew how much I didn't like being in the apartments, so he was determined to find me a house to rent that would allow a dog. He and I both want a dog, but for different reasons. I want company and someone to give my attention to, and he wanted someone to be here to protect me. :) Well, we found this cute little house just six block away. It's about 1,000 square feet and the landlord is charging us less than our apartment. Super great. So we found this house on a Saturday, and looked at it on a Monday, signed a lease on Wednesday, and were completely moved out of our apartment by Saturday. Wheew!

So here is my cute little living room. There are built in shelves on the wall and corner shelves.

My kitchen has lots of storage and an original drain-sink. I love it.






Because we don't have our on-site pay to use washer and dryer, we had to buy some. Oh, darn. Bleu got me some gently used front loading stackables and they are amazing!!
One week later..... I told Bleu after we had been looking at dogs for what seemed like forever, I told him, " I'm tired of looking at dogs. The only two that we agree on is the doberman and the great dane. Just pick one." That very same day, he came to work with a steel blue colored great dane puppy with blue eyes. She's the sweetest little thing ever and She's so smart and very well behaved for her age. Just after a day or two of practice, she will sit and stay, and we are working on lay down. She knows that she's not allowed on the carpet, and does pretty good when there's nothing baracading the doorway. She's very curious and playful. She cuddles when she's sleepy and plays on her own as well as with Bleu and me.

These are from the first week we had her. She's already grown so much and will keep growing and growing and growing...... We named her Kami and as you can see, she LOVES Bleu. She loves when he comes home and plays with her. It's cute, but I'll admit I get jealous every now and again. :)



Okay that's all I can do for today. I will report later!!

I've Missed You!

I've been without the internet for about two or three weeks and it's been tough. BUT! It's here, and I have LOADS to talk about so look forward to lots of posts about lots of changes for the Hawkleys. Till next time....

The Jury Has Reached a Verdict.

As you might know, I've seen a doctor about my swelling and feeling sick and so forth. I saw the kidney specialist today and we talked about what's been going on lately and he looked at the lab results that my last doctor sent to him.

.............DRUMROLL.......................

Because my protein levels are so low and comparable to a very sick person, the doctor made a suggestion that I didn't want to hear. I'll be starting dialysis at the beginning of next month and we will do lab work every month to monitor the progression. If that doesn't go well then the next step would be to start thinking about having family members tested for a tissue match in case the need for a transplant arises.

So the next step for me is to tell you that I am completely and totally kidding about all of that. Hee hee! I'm fine. The doc says it's most likely that the numbers are so low because pregnancy can do that to a woman's protein, and they've stayed that low because of the deep depression I was in and it caused my appetite to drop, which lead to the malnutrition. Just to check it out, he's doing pretty much a repeat to see how I'm progressing and says that from a kidney perspective, he doesn't see any problems. The swelling in my ankles is almost gone, which feels GREAT!

I'm also working with a Health Coach on getting back into a healthy lifestyle with eating the foods that my body needs and starting a personalized exercise program. I will actually be checked up on every few weeks to see if I'm doing what I said I would. :) I continue to loose weight for reasons unknown to me, but I'm thinking that these new lifestyle changes will help me be a healthier person.

I also have to factor in that I have been through a WHOLE LOT physically and spiritually the past few months and these have definitely taken their toll. I was beaten down in many ways and those all need to be addressed. It's a hard knock life. But that's life--it wasn't meant to be easy.

So there you have it. Just another day in Paradise.

Update on Life in the Crazy Lane

Well Hawaii was amazing. Scuba diving was AWESOME. The beach was great. It was super nice to get away - just the two of us and enjoy eachother's company.

Because two weeks off work just wasn't enough for me, I decided to go ahead and get 1st and 2nd degree burns on the back of my legs. hmph. I didn't really decide that, but I was the one dumb enough to depend on keeping my legs underwater. Bad idea. Horrible idea.

Today, almost two weeks post-burn, I am almost able to walk normally and without grimacing. I tried to go to work Monday and was sent home by my boss. So I went to my doctor and when I showed her the burns.... ( which were now deep red in color and mostly covered in blisters) I made her gasp. Yes. LITERALLY gasp and "oh.. no...." over and over. She told me that it's basically one big open wound and to consider myself scolded. She is having me treated as a burn victim. I've been slathered with ointment, covered in gauze and wrapped with ace bandages. Plus given antibiotics and awesome pain killers. I have to change the dressings twice a day, which Sara has been wonderful enough to help me with for the first few days. Now I've mastered it on my own. It's humbling to go to a doctor and show her what I did to myself, but I'm so glad that I went in because it's helped so so much. I'm on the second bout of blisters, and my left leg's skin has turned black, but I feel so much better. The swelling in my legs is down dramatically--my right knee is almost able to straighten. But my feet are still an issue.

I had the opportunity to see a Reflexologist in Farmington that's a friend of Bleu's family. She zoned my feet and talked to me about all of the emotions that go alongside the problems I'm having with my kidneys and overall health. It was great to actually have an idea of what I can do to help fix it! there are alot of things that need addressed, and I have a lot of work to do, but now that I know, it's like a new light. I feel like there is an end in sight and it's very encouraging. I will be seeing her again soon, and I also have an appointment with a Nephrologist later in the month.

Doctor Says....

"I'm confused, too. You have no reason to be sick."

Whaaattt?

So the lowdown according to last month's lab results is: I have "strikingly" low protein levels in my blood comparable to a person who is in-the-hospital-sick or suffering from a chronic illness. The protein is what keeps the water in the veins. Because I have no protein, the water is escaping through the walls of the veins and pooling in my feet, which is causing the swelling. The two reasons for that to happen is kidney or liver disfunction, which my labs show neither. So I have no reason for this to be happening.

I told her that I was confused because of all of the protein that I eat, and I eat well. She's confused, too. So we took some more blood to check the protein again. If my protein level has improved at all, she is going to assume a nutritional imbalance and it should slowly get better. If there is no change, or it's the same then she will be doing phone consultations with a kidney specialist, liver specialist, and a vascular surgeon to see if I need to be refered to one of them.

In the meantime, I am eating more protein and calories, and I'm going to start wearing compression socks at night to try and control the swelling. I should get the lab results tomorrow. Hopefully all goes well and I won't be refered to a surgeon--Scary! /:

More Bloodwork

Well it's been one month and I'm going in for my follow up. I'm doing it all over again. Bloodwork. I really don't enjoy it.
I've been feeling a little better lately, my sick feeling is not a daily thing and the headaches are pretty rare anymore. I've been having some sharp stomach pains so we'll have to talk about that tomorrow. My appetite is a little better and I'm eating more so that's probably helping me take more calories. We shall see in a few days. Wish me luck!

Great News:

I'm Malnourished! Why is that news so great?? Because it's NOT Kidney Disease. When was the last time that your doctor told you that you needed to take in more Protein and Calories? Weird, but oh well. My cholesterol is normal, but my good cholesterol is way low, and my protein is way low. So I'm taking more vitamins, eating more protein and calories, and Bleu is determined to get me running in the morning. Hmmmm. I don't like that idea. But I'm happy to know that I'm Malnourished. Crazy. But hopefully all of these changes will help me feel better. Staying away from the calories is not the best way to eat healthy. That's why it's called a balanced diet. :) But I'm also happy to report that my sugar/sweets aversion stuck with me. I still can't eat very much and rarely find myself craving sweets. I still crave fruit. YESSSS!! It's so good.

Trust in the Lord....

...with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. --Proverbs 3:5-6

I've been consistently sick for about a month now. None of my symptoms made any sense and I just assumed that I was still physically and emotionally recovering from Tristan's birth and death. When Bleu (the Doctor hater ;)) suggested that I see a doctor, I realized that this has gone far enough.

After yet another sleepless night, I was laying my head on the table at work concentrating on feeling well enough to make it through a six hour day. My boss came into the room and said my name, startling me -- I was almost asleep with two very large copiers going behind me. She said "Mickaela, go home. Get some rest; we'll be fine without you."

So I filled in 1.25 hours for the day and went home and made an appointment to see a doctor. Yesterday I went in and the doctor ordered a urinalysis and blood work including a full blood count, liver function, kidney function.... the works. I got a call today and she asked to have me come back in for the very same thing on Thursday. I won't explain everything she did just to make a long and boring story short.

I have very low protein count, and she is concerned enough that she wants to do another blood and urine test for kidney disease. I looked online and finally all of my symptoms make sense.

swelling of feet
headaches
upset stomach
fatigue
dizziness
loss of memory
forgetfulness
lack of concentration

They seem pretty random until they all show up on one page as a list of symptoms. We don't know for sure, that's why we are testing further. But I would really appreciate a few extra prayers on behalf of the doctors and lab technicians so that they can see what is happening and what needs to be done.

Love you all..

Bleu's Coming Home!

------Aloha!------
And I don't mean hello.
I mean goodbye.
Cause we are leaving!
To Hawaii!
For a whole WEEK!



Bleu and I decided we need a vacation and LOTS of time together. We didn't get too much of a honeymoon when we got married besides two nights in a hotel.... and both of us were sick..... and I went to school two days later.
We talked about going to Hawaii before we got married, just after we got married, a while after we got married..... and now we've stopped talking about it. I just booked the flight and hotel. My heart was POUNDING! I've never spent that much money all at once--YIKES! But we've been saving for something like this for a long time, and BY GOLLY, WE NEED A BREAK!

Just so you all know the latest, Bleu is on the list for deployment in September. (another reason Hawaii sounds nice) It's a "most likely" situation. Bleu seems to be okay with it on the outside, and I've come to terms with the idea. Bleu and I have been apart for half of our marriage, and we will still be apart for half of our marriage when he gets home in 2010. But I've thought about it all and I would just rather get it over and done with. I thought of ways to postpone, but it's inevitable...... so why not just do it now before we have any kids and I'm working.

I have thought about some different options that I have, and I might go back to school and get my CNA. I've thought about it before and after the wonderful care that I received at the hospital, I think I would enjoy doing something like that. We are also thinking of buying a house, but might need to wait till Bleu gets a job. We aren't sure if we will be able to get one before he leaves, but we will try. He really wants to work at Airport #2 in West Jordan as a Helicopter Mechanic.

We decided that no matter what happens---whether he leaves or stays---we are going to have a great summer together and do lots of things like camping, hiking, and whatever else we come up with.....like going to Hawaii. :)

Aloha.....